For our September resilience book club review, we’ve decided to share our educators/parents/caregivers resource on positive language patterns and learning experiences.
‘WHAT we SAY and HOW we SAY it MATTERS’ written by author Mike Anderson highlights the following neurological pattern shifts for teachers and parents and the tools conducive to achieving the desired results of a fun learning environment;
- Shifting language patterns; and
- Showing respect for students/children; and
- Creating a culture of collaboration; and
- Developing students positive identity; and
- Setting students up for success with behaviour; and
- Supporting students/children with challenging behaviours; and
- Elevate students/ children’s moral reasoning; and
- Boost intrinsic motivation; and
- Focus on growth and learning; and
- Promote joyful learning; and
- Increase ownership of learning.
Each Educator, Lead Educator and Teacher, have modified this tool for their specific age group. Read more to learn what this looks like in their classroom settings. Our age groups range from babies to toddler, toddler to young child and young child to pre prep school readiness age.
Pre-prep Room Book Club review
The Power of Words: Effective Communication in Pre-Prep Classrooms
When it comes to early childhood education, what we say and how we say it matters—a lot. In the dynamic environment of a pre-prep classroom, effective communication is the cornerstone of creating a nurturing, engaging, and enriching learning experience for young children. In this blog post, we’ll explore why communication is essential in pre-prep classrooms and provide examples of how to do it right.
1. Language Development: Building a Strong Foundation
Young children are like sponges, soaking up everything they hear and see. This is why the way teachers and caregivers speak is pivotal in their language development journey. By using clear, proper language, educators serve as role models for correct speech patterns and vocabulary expansion. For instance, instead of saying, “i want a cracker,” a teacher can model proper language by saying, “I would like a cracker, please.” This simple adjustment sets the stage for effective communication skills.
2. Building Confidence: Words Shape Self-Esteem
Positive reinforcement and encouragement can do wonders for a child’s self-esteem and confidence. When children feel valued and supported, they are more likely to participate in learning activities with enthusiasm. A simple shift in language can work wonders. Instead of saying, “You did that wrong,” a teacher can say, “That’s a good start! Let’s try it this way.” Such words of encouragement can ignite a child’s passion for learning.
3. Establishing Rules and Boundaries: Clarity is Key
In the bustling world of pre-prep classrooms, clear and consistent communication is essential for setting boundaries and expectations. Children thrive in environments where they understand what’s expected of them. For example, instead of saying, “Stop running inside!” a teacher can calmly state, “We have walking feet inside the classroom to keep everyone safe.” This clear communication helps children understand the rules and ensures a harmonious classroom atmosphere.
4. Problem-Solving Skills: Nurturing Emotional Intelligence
Effective communication encourages children to express their thoughts and feelings, fostering the development of problem-solving skills and emotional intelligence. When a child is upset, instead of dismissing their emotions with a curt, “Stop crying, it’s not a big deal,” a teacher can say, “I can see you’re upset. Would you like to talk about what happened.” This approach teaches children to identify and manage their emotions constructively.
5. Fostering Social Skills: Modeling Polite Communication
Pre-prep classrooms are a hub for social interaction. Teachers play a pivotal role in modeling and reinforcing polite and respectful communication. For example, instead of saying, “Give me that toy!” a teacher can model proper manners by saying, “Can I please have a turn when you’re finished?” Such language models polite communication, helping children build essential social skills.
6. Active Listening: The Art of Engagement
Active listening is a crucial aspect of effective communication. Teachers need to pay attention to what children are saying and respond thoughtfully. When a child proudly presents their drawing, a teacher can engage them further by saying, “Wow, I see you used lots of colours! Can you tell me more about your drawing?” This approach not only acknowledges the child’s effort but also encourages them to express their thoughts and feelings.
7. Cultural Sensitivity: Embracing Diversity
In today’s multicultural world, it’s essential to be mindful of cultural differences and use inclusive language. This creates a welcoming environment for all children and their families. For instance, instead of labeling unfamiliar foods as “strange,” a teacher can inquire, “I see you have a different kind of late snack today. Can you tell me what it’s called and what it tastes like?” This approach fosters an appreciation for diversity and encourages children to share their unique experiences.
Encouraging positive communication between the children promotes cooperation and a positive atmosphere in the classroom. As demonstrated through observations, as children are working together on a drawing activity.
Ineffective Communication
Ineffective communication sounds like this;
Child one: (snatching a crayon from child’s hand) “I want that crayon! Give it to me now!”
Child two: (upset and defensive) “No, it’s mine! I had it first!”
In this scenario, both children are using demanding and confrontational language, which can lead to conflict and frustration.
Effective Communication
Effective Communication sounds like this;
Child one: (smiling and using polite language) “Hi! Can I please use that crayon when you’re finished with it?”
Child two: (smiles back) “Sure! I’ll give it to you when I’m done with this part.”
In this revised scenario, using polite language and asking for the crayon politely, while the response is kind and agrees to share the crayon when finished with.
This demonstrates effective communication between the two students
In conclusion, the way educators communicate in pre-prep classrooms can significantly impact a child’s development. Creating a positive, supportive, and language-rich environment lays the foundation for future academic and social success while nurturing a child’s self-esteem and love for learning. Remember, every word you say matters—it shapes the young minds that will one day shape the world.
Miss Tracy X
Snakes Room Book Club review
As an Educator it’s my responsibility to consciously use positive language and praise correctly. Praising children’s efforts and elaborating on what they did well or what they are improving on, by simplifying my language and stating what I see, with “I see statements”.
‘I See statements’
- I can see you are throwing blocks; how do we play with the blocks?
- I can see you are not listening, what are the classroom rules?
By asking questions, we are placing the accountability back on the child.
Encouraging children to reflect on their decisions enables them to contemplate their actions, the behaviors they’ve selected, and whether they should opt for a more ethical choice.
We prompt the children to communicate their behavioral choices and determine whether those choices are good (positive) or bad (negative). In cases where the choice is negative, our follow-up inquiry aims to inspire them to generate their own solutions for moving forward.
Positive language
- Gentle hands
We remind children to use gentle hands and evoke from them HOW they are to using their gentle hands. On occasion, there is a need to demonstrate how to use gentle hands by taking the child’s hands and showing them what it feels like on our arm and then we reciprocate.
- Walking feet
Children get caught up in the moment and sometimes forget to use their walking feet. It’s a safety hazard to run in a classroom, so we kindly remind children of this rule when needed. We extend on this by explaining WHY we are using walking feet and have them repeat it to us and then on-teach to a friend. On-teaching someone helps us to consolidate.
Discussions
We discussed in group time, as a collective, the difference between how we sometimes talk to our friends and how we should talk to our friends;
The first activity
We had two pictures of faces, a smiley face and a sad face. I gave the children a few examples of how and how not to talk to their friends and they had to decided if it will make our friends happy or sad.
Examples we used;
- I don’t want to be your friend ☹
- You make me laugh when I’m sad 😊
- I like your new shirt 😊
- I don’t like your toy ☹
- You can’t play with us ☹
- I like your hair cut 😊
We took these examples and turned them around into positive talk, how you can say a sentence without hurting your friends’ feelings.
Such as; Your friend is throwing blocks, how can you tell them in a good way not to throw blocks without shouting at them.
- Stop throwing blocks please, they are hurting me. Do you want to build something?
The second activity
We engaged in some role play. I would say something that they would likely experience such as “you can’t play” or ” I’m not your friend” and the children had to tell me, how and what they would respond to the statement and whether it was nice or nasty. The children have a sound understanding of right and wrong. What makes them feel good and what makes them feel sad when making choices with their friends and learning to deflect those mean comments is all part of learning resilience.
As for Children- Its all about being inclusive, using their gentle hands and using the ‘Golden Rule’ -treat others the way they want to be treated.
As for Educators, parents and caregivers- Praising correctly is the difference between developing a child with a growth mindset open to opportunities and experiences while boosting intrinsic motivation AND developing a child with a fixed mindset fearful of change, new things and relying on extrinsic motivators.
Our great intentions don’t always match the outcome we desire in our children. If only we had a manual to guide us how to be effective communicators and motivators….. well, this is that manual!
Miss Hannelie X
Dolphins Book Club review
What we say and how we say…actually does matter! It Is also a statement that emphasizes the importance of our communication and the way in which we express ourselves. Negative language patterns are counterproductive to what we are seeking to achieve as educators and caregivers.
In the Dolphin room we avoid words such as “NO” and “STOP”. Why? because from a child’s perspective what does NO even mean… isn’t that an answer to a question and STOP doing what, exactly? No and STOP is negative language which is not productive because it doesn’t give the child enough information to act on, therefore you will generally see the behaviours continue.
As Toddlers are in the early stages of language development, simple and direct instructions help them to process what you are wanting from them in that moment. Simplify it even more by stating what you see using “I see” statements.
Stating what you see in the moment diffuses any emotion that may come across through tone. It enables you to speak from a place of love rather than a place of anger or frustration.
Promoting Positive Language
“I SEE” statements are an effective tool for guiding challenging behaviours.
We use these statements to promote positive language to redirect their actions and reinforce desired behaviours. It makes children accountable for their actions and creates space to critically reflect on how they can make better choices.
When addressing a child that requires redirection of their behaviour would look like this;
- CALL THEM BY NAME (Sometimes in a louder stronger tone to gain attention) then
- Followed by using your I SEE Statement. (Returning into a calmer tone, getting down to the child’s level and speaking directly to them)
- I CAN SEE you are using your rough hands, why are you hurting your friends?; and
- I CAN SEE you are snatching. Lets give that back to your friend and see what else you can play with?
The Importance of Praising Correctly
Praising INCORRECTLY disempowers children and teaches them to have a fixed mindset and rely on extrinsic motivators. This creates conditioned responses, where they feel their potential is limited, thus developing limited beliefs in every area of their life. Signs that children feel conditioned by their limitations are: They get frustrated easily and give up, they are resistant to trying new things, struggle with changes and only rely on rewards for their motivation.
Disempowering Praise sounds like this;
- Good boy / Good girl
- Good job
- You’re so smart
- You’re so clever
- You’re so pretty.
Empowering praise is about praising effort, such as;
- I CAN SEE you are waiting your turn
- I CAN SEE you are improving
- I CAN SEE you put your bed away, well done
- I CAN SEE you are enjoying painting with lots of colours.
Within the dolphin’s space, we hold the belief that employing positive language contributes to the establishment of a nurturing and supportive atmosphere, ultimately nurturing emotional well-being and promoting personal growth.
Miss Sabrina X
Little Fish Book Club review
Teaching resilience in babies is a crucial aspect of their early development. Resilience helps them to navigate challenges, develop coping skills, and build a strong foundation for future emotional well-being. “What you say and how you say it matters” is a powerful principle to guide our approach. In Little Fish room we use a number of these principles every day.
Emotional Expression
Babies learn a lot by observing and mimicking their caregivers. Encouraging them to express their emotions gives confidence to be authentic. When they cry or show signs of distress, we respond with warmth and empathy. We say things like, “I see you’re upset. It’s okay to feel that way,” while using a gentle and soothing tone and perhaps a cuddle if they need it.
Positive Reinforcement
We offer positive reinforcement for effort and achievements, no matter how small. We like to use encouraging words and a cheerful tone to celebrate our milestones, like saying, “Wow, you did it! You walked all by yourself!” This fosters a sense of accomplishment and resilience.
Problem-Solving Strategies
Narrating our own problem-solving processes aloud when faced with minor challenges not only gives them a lifelong tool, it also assists with language growth, giving them the words to use moving forward. For example, if we’re trying to climb the stairs, we can say, “These stairs are really high, but I will not give up. I’ll try a little harder,” demonstrating perseverance and determination.
Maintain Consistency
Babies thrive on routine and predictability. By being consistent in our responses and routines we allow our children to feel content and safe. This helps with a feeling of security and builds our ability to adapt to change, a key aspect of resilience.
Encourage Exploration
Babies are naturally curious and enjoy exploring our environments. We encourage exploration by creating a safe environment to explore and learn. We use encouraging phrases like, “You’re doing a great job exploring that toy,” to promote a sense of curiosity and the willingness to try new things.
Model Healthy Emotions
We learn about emotions by watching our caregivers. We are mindful of how we express our feelings. If we encounter a difficult situation, we model healthy ways to cope by saying things like, “I’m feeling a little frustrated right now, but I’ll take some deep breaths to calm myself down.”
Comfort and Reassurance
When our babies face difficulties or are upset, we provide comfort and reassurance. We use a soothing voice to convey messages like, “I’m here for you, and we’ll get through this together.” This fosters a sense of security and trust, which is essential for resilience and building a bond with each other.
Celebrate Effort, Not Just Success
Encourage a growth mindset by celebrating the effort your baby puts into tasks rather than solely focusing on the end result. Saying, “You tried really hard, and that’s what matters,” reinforces the importance of persistence.
Remain Patient
Building resilience takes time. Babies will encounter various challenges as they grow, and it’s important to stay patient and supportive throughout their journey. Use phrases like, “It’s okay to take your time; we’ll figure it out together.”
Create a Loving Environment
Above all, ensure that your baby feels loved and valued. Offer unconditional love and acceptance, which forms the foundation of emotional resilience. Say, “I love you just the way you are,” regularly to reinforce this message.
Remember that teaching resilience is an ongoing process, and it starts from the very beginning of a child’s life. By combining positive communication with a supportive and loving environment, you can help your baby develop the emotional strength and adaptability needed to face life’s challenges with confidence.
Miss Tash X
Conclusion
In conclusion, “What we say and how we say it matters” is an enlightening book for educators, parents, or caregivers interested in fostering a love for learning, enhancing productivity, and cultivating growth mindsets in children who are receptive to opportunities and new experiences. This book is a worthwhile addition to the collection of any teachers/parent/caregivers bookshelf.
Our Program
Our ‘Mindful Kids’ certified resilience program is embedded and modified to every age group. The books and activities we incorporate assist with the teachings of consolidating and harnessing these life long skills.
Each month we review a different book from our book club. Some will correlate tools for children and some will be parent/educator interconnected.
Let us know your thoughts and if there is anything you wish to share, we would love to hear from you.
That’s all from the Bright Kids team until next time
Miss Honey-Nicodah x
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